Practice the Pause: A Powerful Skill for Emotional Regulation
“Practice the pause.
Pause before judging.
Pause before assuming.
Pause before accusing.
Pause whenever you’re about to react.”
— Lori Duschene
That small space between a trigger and a response can make all the difference.
Why Pausing Matters
We’ve all been there. An email that strikes a nerve, a child’s behavior that pushes us past our limit, a moment that feels bigger than it should. Our bodies react before our minds catch up. We all have a limit. A capacity. We are human.
Pausing gives us time to:
Take a breath
Notice what we’re feeling
Choose a response instead of reacting
For adults, this is a learned skill built over time. For children, it’s something they rely on us to model, teach, and reinforce.
The Pause and Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation doesn’t mean suppressing feelings. It means noticing them and responding intentionally.
When we pause:
Our nervous system has a chance to settle
We reduce the likelihood of saying or doing something we regret or didn’t intend
We create space for empathy and problem-solving
This is especially important in parenting. Children borrow our calm before they can create their own.
Teaching Children to Practice the Pause
Young children don’t yet have the skills needed to pause on their own. They learn by watching us slow down, breathe, and respond thoughtfully.
You might try:
Modeling deep breathing when emotions rise
Using simple language like, “Let’s take a pause together.”
Naming feelings out loud: “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m taking a breath” or “I’m noticing that I feel frustrated. I need to take a break.”
Over time, children begin to internalize these strategies and apply them themselves. Sounds easy, right? No way! This all takes practice!
Support for Emotional Regulation in Columbus, Ohio
If pausing feels difficult or emotional reactions feel overwhelming, therapy can help. Emotional regulation is a skill that can be strengthened at any age.
At Warburton Family Practice, we provide therapy and psychological evaluations for children and adults in Columbus, Ohio. We support individuals and families in building coping strategies, improving emotional awareness, and navigating life’s challenges with greater confidence and calm.
If you’re ready to practice the pause with support, we’re here to help.
